When I Faced the Monster in the Mirror

Isn’t it amazing the power that words have to create or destroy our own sense of worth? This is why I started Creating Queens. My goal is to make every young girl and women of all ages realize they are queens and the keys to their kingdom lies within them. As a mentor, author, and advocate, my prayer was always that God would use me as a vessel to remind women that they are smart, worthy, and possess tools within them to live an extraordinary life.

When I was a young girl, I had a nightmare one evening that would change the way I looked at myself for decades to come. Because I always looked different than other kids, I would get teased… A LOT! My lips were full, so children nicknamed me “lips.” At that time, I hated it. Now, I realize it has become one of my features that makes me memorable. Now… I love my lips! As a child, my arms and legs were long and thin and I was completely disproportionate. It took me years to finally grow into my own body, but now I love my body because it’s healthy and strong. If you don’t think God has a sense of humor, I could show you pictures from my childhood that would prove otherwise!

Photo: Arthur Garcia

Because of years of getting teased, my confidence level dropped significantly. I knew I wasn’t pretty and to have to face an audience at school with kids that reminded me of this daily was not much fun. One night I had a dream. In my dream I looked in the mirror and saw a reflection of a disfigured young girl who almost looked like a monster. This reflection in the mirror was me and it terrified me so much, that I woke up crying. From that moment on, I could not look in the mirror at night when I would get up in the middle of the night. I had a nightlight that would show just enough light to see myself, but I refused to look in the mirror. Every night for many years, I was afraid to look in the mirror in fear that I would see the reflection of my “monster” looking back at me.

One night when I got up and walked into the bathroom with my eyes staring at the floor, I heard Gods voice echoing in my soul. “Look up, there is nothing to fear.” I heard this but stood motionless in front of the mirror. Then I heard it again even more clearly, “Look up, there is nothing to fear.” Slowly, I raised my head with anxiety in my heart but knowing God was in my soul. As I looked in the mirror, I saw the reflection of a woman with big brown eyes and she didn’t look like a monster. For the first time, I looked at myself and realized the monster in the mirror was the illusion I adopted from others who didn’t accept me for who I was.

From that moment on, I decided to accept myself and fully embrace the way God made me. Although I didn’t look like everyone else, I was perfectly imperfect just the way I was, and I promised myself that I would never allow another person’s opinion of me to tarnish my own opinion of myself. You don’t have to look like another person. Your differences are what will eventually become your strengths…. remember this.  What was my biggest lesson from my greatest fear? Our greatest fears often comes from our own illusions. Those illusions we have adopted from another persons perception of us that has NOTHING to do with you. People speak fear into the hearts of others, but what you don’t realize is that they are telling you what they think of themselves… not you. Never adopt another persons illusions and make them your reality. Remember, that behind every smile is a very loving and delicate soul. You never know who you may impact with the power of your words. Speak kindness into someone’s heart, share a warm smile, and an encouraging hug. One day you may be the person who helps them realize their truth and see their own greatness for the very first time.

You understand what it feels like to acknowledge the beauty and love in everything around you, and fail to acknowledge the love within yourself. Somewhere in time, a very powerful voice convinced you that you were not worthy of my love. So you believed that you were not worthy of self-love. I have told you all along that you cannot truly love me, or anyone around you, unless you understand what it is to love yourself. Believe that you are worthy of my love, and you will see your world transform into everything you have ever desired. – Through the Eyes of Truth – A Conversation with God About My Life, Your Life, & Discovering Our Purpose.


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