Dear Teen Queen,
I am writing you this open letter because your mom reached out to me today in hopes that I may be able to guide you back into your own greatness. I am being completely authentic when I say that. I understand that a boy has just broken your heart and shattered it into a million pieces. I also understand you have been preparing tirelessly for an upcoming pageant and this break-up has you completely derailed. Now you stand at the crossroad of a pivotal point in your young life and you get to empower yourself by making a choice. As you look down at the broken pieces of your heart you also see before you two different roads to take. At the entry of Option 1 there is a book titled, “Denial” and at the entry of Option 2 there is a book titled “Empowerment.” Since you are going to make one choice, let’s look at those 2 roads objectively so you can make the best decision for yourself.

Since you are about to turn 18, you get to make some adult decisions and own responsibility for them. Option 1 is to step over your broken heart and run back into the arms of this young man who has disrespected you already in so many ways. He has displayed lack of character by chasing other girls in front of you, lack of respect by seeing nothing wrong with his actions, and lack of love for you by finding ways to continuously hurt you. Remember the book you carry and learn from on this road is titled, denial. If you choose to make excuses for his actions and think you can somehow change him or change yourself to be accepted by him then you will learn from the book of denial some very painful lessons. Lesson one is that he has shown you who he is and you have the choice to believe him or not. If you choose not to believe him then your life will take a difficult turn.
You need to expect more painful experiences from him as well as other young men like him. We are all creatures of habit and we create our life through patterns of thinking and feeling. If you choose to allow him to make you feel like you don’t deserve respect and need to live your life with men who create the painful emotions of fear in your life, then you will create patterns from this point on while you establish new relationships. Yes you will replace the disrespectful man with others, but keep the same painful emotions this creates in your heart. It will be up to you when you choose to pick up a new book called empowerment.

Option 2 is to pick up the book on empowerment and realize several things that will change the course of your life forever. You get to decide how people treat you in relationships. If you are half the young woman your mom says you are then you are incredibly intelligent, kind, powerful, and beautiful. Maybe God revealed to you who this young man is because you are supposed to take a step back and empower yourself on a deeper level. At the age of 18 you are setting the foundation for your life in terms of what kind of a man you will marry and choose to be the father of your children. You are also choosing to see yourself through the eyes of God or through the eyes of fear.

Option 1 will be a very difficult road for you. Option 2 will empower you this very moment to focus your energy on making yourself a better version of who you want to become tomorrow. This is more than a pageant for you, it is a choice as to how you want to respect your own needs and grow into the successful amazing young woman you have the chance to become. Do you want to develop your relationship with yourself through the eyes of a young man who doesn’t value you or do you want to develop your relationship with yourself having God as your co-captain? I am just one of so many people who value you more than you will ever know.